Saturday, 22 May 2010

Superwoman Chronicles

Let your mind wander but not too far, let your eyes read...let your heart be feed.

The talent of a beautiful young woman...please read and be captivated...


May 22, 2010

I am strong.
As he sits across the table from me
He marvels at my strength, my inner being
“How can she sit and listen
And not be broken
And not be in pieces
As he expands on all his dreams
And his needs, for which all her payments
Are in arrears?”
It’s true, Sir, how can I not let them fall, my tears
How can I not reveal my heart that has ruptured?

Well, Sir, if you looked, you would see its sutures:
From the childish cross-stitching
To the near-adult weaving;
From the hurt, from the pain,
From the insult, from the stains.
They’re all covered up but, no, you didn’t look!
You just called me strong.
Ma mère, I sat and I watched
As you commended her beauty
As you boasted of her intelligence
And embellished my accomplishments.
And your silence towards me, I heard verbatim
So I grew and I no longer needed these things from you
And I hated my light skin
And I hated the shape of my hips and the width of my waist
But I enjoyed my yellowness
And my figure eight
Because they loved it even if you didn’t.
And as you began to clean the mirror
You began to see your reflection in me, clearer
And you were proud.
And you marvelled at my beauty
And you exclaimed at my excellence
But it is too late because I am already strong!
So when my choices are unfathomable
And you think I lack care or respect
It’s not that at all
It’s just because I love you
And I realise that I am no more you
Than you are I.
I am not an extension of you
Though, you bore I.

I am human
My flesh bleeds blood like yours
My eyes cry tears like yours, salty
Everything is salty and it preserves my human-ness
From my nose, my eyes, my veins, salty.
I cry.

My world is that of Superwoman
But my desire is to be like that of Lois.
I want to be carried!
But my shoulders are broad
So you lay it on me
And I won’t complain
I will camel it
Until I cannot go further
Then I will die.
And you will not understand
You will just ask, Why?

My world is like that of Oprah.
But sometimes I desire it to be like that of Ricki
And I want to tell you how much you kill me
And how much I love you though you murder me
And how much I bleed though you hug me
But I am strong!
So I speak only of saving the world
And serving you only.

I write when I am emotional.
I sing when I am emotional.
I dance when I am emotional.
I draw when I am emotional.
I create when I am emotional.
But, I only speak when you ask of me.
But by the time you ask, I am already rational.
I am strong, but weak is my core being.
He, the LORD, He strengthens me
But my pride!
It makes me impenetrable
And you, you sit and you admire me
And you, you desire me
And you, you desire that she were more like me
And you, you desire that you were more like me
But you don’t want to have to go through
The opening up of your soul like me
The denigrating of your pride like me
The suffering of yourself like me!
So you will watch.
And you will remark at my strength
And my beauty
And my excellence
My maturity
My intelligence
But, not my wretchedness
Because to you, I am strong.

Love Samantha, 18/10/09, 5am.
…An explanation of ‘Strong’ will follow shortly!…
Je t’embrasse, x

No comments:

Post a Comment

Hey lovelies!

Thank you for popping by & leaving a comment!

x Fi